Everyone's a freak to someone, National Coming Out Day, and other thoughts.

Today is National Coming Out Day!  It is also, I just realized, the One Year Anniversary of this blog!  I cannot believe it has been a whole year.

The past two months have been very topsy turvey around here.  Things are beginning to settle down and you all should be able to receive much more frequent updates to this blog.  It is after all dedicated to those of us who come out later on in life, many of us having lived in the closet for years, many have married and also have children.  We know that our experiences are different from perhaps someone who came out at a younger age, or never married.  I sure hope to get this back on track as a forum to help each other get through it as best we can. 

I know you may be looking at that interesting graphic there about freaks, and maybe even thinking "Rebecca, I am sooooo not a freak!!"  LMAO.  That's funny, my first thought was HELL YES!!!  We all have SOMETHING about us that would seem absolutely freaky to at least one other person on this earth.  Even if it is as simple as eating fried bologna (love it, personally).  Now I know I have some other freaky habits (so not sharing those), Lorrie might even know of a couple that I don't even realize she thinks are freaky.  Anyway, Jay, over at the ever fabulous, always entertaining and sometimes too thought provoking Jaysays.com, had a post up that if you wrote your freaky thing to him, he would send you a bumpersticker of the graphic above.  I have one, he actually generously sent two, one of which was claimed by one of Kevin's buddies.  He spoke first, he got it, I wasn't giving up mine, NO WAY!  From the reaction I got from Kevin's friends, I think he is really on to something there.  It sure makes you think while you are laughing to yourself!

OK, so back to National Coming Out Day.....it was also the National Equality March in Washington D.C.  From the time I saw a post about this through "Join the Impact" I really wanted to go.  I couldn't, I knew I had school, my job wouldn't let me have the days off, I didn't know until last week that I was quitting my job though........LOL.  Yeah, in this economy.  A lot of stress lately has been coming from my job, my new supervisor decided that school was not important to me and decided that I should now work 10-12 hours a day and every Saturday.  I don't think she realized I am on a time table to finish in May, July at the latest........I have a country to move across damn it!!!  Sorry, but the job lost.  I can make it finding a part time job, and that shouldn't be too hard as Christmas season is closing in on us.

OOPS!   I got off track, (hate when I ramble) I was talking about the National Equality March in Washington D.C.  There are some great stories on it, and was much more successful than most media and politicians thought it would be, and even more successful than even the organizers may have imagined.  Here are some links to several news stories and the Google of the events:

Leah McElrath Renna from the Huffington Post

Towleroad

LGBT Q News

National Equality March Web Site Slideshow

Goombah's Rainbow

Google Search

Take care all and keep coming out of those prisons AKA "The Closet"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fall is Here

Wow, it’s been a long time! I feel like I have been on the roller coaster called life and sitting in the front seat for the last two months. Actually for one fun filled night with my daughter this is exactly what we did; went to a local amusement park and rode all the rollercoasters in the front seat. It took me so long to comb my hair the next day that I contemplated just cutting it, lol (Don’t worry Baby I won’t!).

I started my ride with my trip out to Reno to see my love! (We have blogged about this before so you can read about it in the archives if you want.) I was home for about a week and a half; and the time immediately after coming home from a visit with Rebecca is always so hard, missing her so much; so maybe it was good that I hopped back on a plane and flew to Vegas with one of my good friends for a 4 day visit to Sin City. As visits to Vegas go, I’m sure this one would be considered saintly, lol…we walked, shopped, went to shows, toured the Red Rock Canyon, ate a lot and drank a little (unless you count the daiquiri I had in the Eiffel tower replica!). After 3 days, I had had enough of Vegas.

I got back to my regular Mom duties and job duties for a few weeks. Did the normal back to school shopping with the kids, too many times; wouldn’t it be nice if you could just go back to school shopping once, but I guess that’s not possible when you have a teenage daughter! Luckily, the teenage daughter now has a job so I set a spending limit and she was responsible for anything over that. Took a day or two off to do some end of summer fun things with the kids, riding go karts and going to an amusement park.
I had to come back and edit this in because I just realized I never blogged about it. The end of August I came out to my 15 year old daughter! It turns out that she knew for a while; we had a good conversation about it and a couple since then. If anything, I think she is closer to me now than ever. It is such a wonderful thing to not hold this secret from her anymore!
Then it was back to school time.

But my summer of moving around wasn’t quite over yet. I had an “exciting” pharmaceutical meeting to attend in Boston the second week of September. LOL, it was actually fun except for the meetings! I had a good time going out to eat with the two coworkers I went with; they were pretty fun even if they were men, lol. We even went to a Red Sox game; my first time at Fenway Park.

The last few days of my summer were spent in the Outer Banks attending my nephews wedding. He was married on the sand dunes of Corolla. It was a beautiful ceremony and I am so glad I made the trip. The kids and I stayed a few days after and went to the beach, biked, played tennis (or tried), played racquetball (again tried) and did a lot of relaxing and too much eating.

So now I am home again. It was a very active summer. The fall season is here. My life will be a little tamer for awhile…or at least I hope so..I’m a little tired.

But…you know….a chance to spend some time with Rebecca would get me right back on a plane again. But in the meantime, hopefully I will have more time to blog.

It sure is quiet over here........Where the hell is she?

Hey folks, I need to apologize for not writing, or even not writing to tell you why I am not writing!  There are a few reasons, but the number one reason has been pretty simple, I don't have any story ideas........lol.  Gone, blank, zero, zilch and nada!  I know there is tons to write about, but it isn't flowing right now.  I had this problem before and know that once the dam breaks I won't be able to stop, and will write drafts to post later so I don't do 10 in one day, LOL.

Another reason has been other things popping up, like school starting again, but I have the same blockages there as I do here this semester and that is really not good.

Also the boys dad was in a head on collision three weeks ago, it was very much touch and go for about a week until he had another one of his miraculous recoveries.  He is home (in California) now, and doing well.  He broke his sternum and several vertebrae so will be wearing a shell for many months.  The accident inflamed his chronic pulmonary edema, and that was what made it touch and go.  It subsided finally and they put a pacemaker in on Monday.  He is feeling good and has a positive outlook. The boys are delighted he is doing so well and we will be driving to California tomorrow so they can visit with him. 

Well, before I disappear again, I want to let you all know about a blog that was brought to my attention via Twitter.  It is called:  D.M. SOLIS, AUTHOR'S FORMAL BLOG.  D.M is a freelance columnist, poet and fiction writer, she blogs about creativity, social justice and relationships.  She writes poetry and lyrics as well.  I have really been enjoying reading all of her posts.  Especially the post entitled "How Do We Find Our Life's Passions?"  While I wait for my creative dam to burst, or Lorrie to post something, I know you will enjoy reading hers!

Changing Focus

"All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned, someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself." ~ Ralph Ellison

Like Mr. Ellison, I too was late coming to this realization. But thank God I did!!!
It seems as if most of what I hear and stumble upon reading these days is something along these lines or it points to the profound impact our experiences of just who we are, can have on others around us.  Yes, no matter what others say, no matter what others believe about us, it is our own lives that speak the loudest truth.  Our living authentically is our best defense.


I want to spend some more time speaking these truths.  I am not talking about the film clips of the families together or years long relationships.  Though those have their place.  I am talking about our own knowledge that we are gay.  Not confused, not questioning, but simply gay.  No book, no opinion, no faked out, trumped up studies can change the truth of our own lives and inner knowledge of this. 

Also, I have decided not to continue with the original track of Blogging for Truth because what the Anti Gay Industry says about us is not valid, but what we have to say about who we are is.  And it is more powerful than their biggest lies.


All religions tell us to think on those things that are good and pure and wise.  Hundreds of self help gurus promise riches and happiness if you just imagine the things you want.  While some of them go a bit far with the imagining, there is, I believe a universal truth at work in all of these beliefs.  If we focus our attention on attaining that we expect, then we act in ways that will achieve the things we expect. While bad things happen to everyone in life, studies do show optimists tend to have good things happen to them more often than not, and pessimists more frequently have negative things happen.  We tend to get what we expect, not always what we want.

With that, and because things are still rolling around in the ole brain, I will leave you with one last quote to arm yourself with when the nay sayers are harping at or even in your head:



"Rabbi Zusya said that on the Day of Judgment, God would ask him, not why he had not been Moses, but why he had not been Zusya." ~Walter Kaufmann 

A Sharing Moment!

This morning I received these lovely flowers from My Love just because!!!  What a wonderful way to start my day!

Sorry girls, she is ALL MINE, lol........