Sunday, May 31, 2009

Meet The Boys: From a late in life family.

Let me introduce you to "my boys" Oh they are older now, but I love this picture, I always have. (I am the Mother, I choose the pictures.) The big smiley one in the front is James. And the one with the knowing look in the back is Kevin. He is the oldest. Kevin is 18 now, he will be 19 in a few months. James is everything you mothers of girls warn them about. Just ask Lorrie. He is 16 now. He can charm..... well you know the rest. The boys were, for much of their life, raised in a so called "traditional family." At the time I would have told you we were were a "close" family. That I was really close with my boys. Their father and I were married until Kevin was 15 and James 13. I divorced their father before I came out publicly.

Kevin and I had a talk last night. He is living with me again. He moved out last October. We hadn't been on very good terms since last spring and things came to a head finally and it was best that he move out. He has since made real progress with a lot of things and I have also learned how to express my momness in a way that he can deal with better. He has Asperger syndrome. He was diagnosed rather late, so communicating verbally correctly is more important with him than with someone who can read body language and understand vocal cues. It is something I am only really now beginning to understand. Kevin has made huge progress in learning to look for the clues the rest of us just seem to see.

We had a good talk. We talked about his dad, that his dad really is a good guy at heart, but that the alcohol had really ruined some of the good, but that he still loved him, as he should, how he missed his brother living away, how he got his GED and has returned to Adult School to get his high school diploma as well. (one issue causing momness was his dropping out last year! YIKES) He has been seriously looking for work but it hasn't been easy in this economy, but he has had some good interviews and he has an in (me) where I work. ( His efforts last year were nil, another issue for momness.)

And then he said "it really freaked James and I out when you came out Mom." and went on to another subject. I said, wait a minute, you can't drop that A-bomb and just go on Kev, you have to explain that one to me. He said OK we will talk about it tomorrow. Ummmm NOPE, we are talking about it tonight or I won't sleep at all.

After the initial shock of me coming out, and some really dumb jokes in bad taste, the boys have been fine, it has been a non issue, I thought. They have told me several times that growing up they really never felt I loved them, not knowing I had killed all my emotions to stay in the closet.

"Yeah, you really changed a lot after you came out. You dressed completely different, you talked different, you acted different and you even smoked different cigarettes all of a sudden."

He was right, when I came out I dressed more feminine, a little younger even, not really "old lady trying to look like a teenager", LOL, but I started wearing a little sexier clothes. I let my hair grow a bit, I lost weight, I did speak differently. I didn't mumble as much, I voiced my opinions, I speak with more authority in my voice than I used to. (The cigarettes were cheaper, no other reason) I sat up straighter, I was more outgoing than I was before. I was also newly in love and I was glowing with it. (I am and I still do!) I thought the changes were good.

It never occurred to me that to have their mother change literally, in their eyes, overnight was freaky. Even good change. But I see it now. He let me discuss my view of the change too. And he listened. And then I listened some more. He hugged me good night and I hugged him back and told him how much I really loved him. He said he knows I do now.

James is not as vocal as his brother is about such things. We have had a few, (for James that is a lot) discussions about some of what Kevin talked about last night. But I hadn't put it all together. James is much happier that I show more emotion now too and knows how much I love him. We joke a bit more and we got to know each other better the last 7 months with just the two of us. It was really nice. But he is glad Kevin is back. I am too. Very glad.

We are becoming a closer family now that I have come out. Their father moved to California last year, they still talk to him on the phone, send each other letters and DVD's and they are going to visit him this summer. He has stopped drinking and smoking and he has gotten better at communicating with both of them as well. He and I can talk now, as the best friends we always really were. And as the parents of children should.

We aren't very much a "traditional family" anymore. But for us anyway, that definition of family never fit very well, it was unnatural, we just didn't know it at the time. Our family now means we trust each other enough to talk about things, even uncomfortable things, we aren't afraid to grow together or admit our mistakes, we aren't afraid nor incapable of showing love for each other and best of all, the boys see and feel that I love them unconditionally and they know it in their hearts as well. They know now their father does too.

Our new definition fits us much better. Finally we are a real family...naturally.

This Blog Will Return To It's Regularly Scheduled Content Now.....

Blogging for Truth Week is over, but Blogging for Truth is never finished.
Until next year I think it is best that most, but not all, of the political commentary has found a new, good home.
Back to blogging about coming out, families, love, life and the pursuit of happiness.

I am so very proud of the Nevada Legislature right now, I am beaming almost as much as when I talk to Lorrie. I am proud of us Nevadans, LGBT and Straight who really fought for this one, as well as AB1 (The anti Fred Phelps Law) was also passed as was SB207 which prevents discrimination in places of public access. But AB 184 was defeated. It protected persons from discrimination because of gender identity. It should be re-introduced next session. I know we will all fight for that one again.

Have a great week all......

Assembly follows Senate in Reversing Governor's Veto of SB 283

Nevada Legislature Rebukes Gibbons Veto - Domestic Partnership a Reality in Nevada!!!!!

From Your Gay

Assembly follows Senate in Reversing Governor's Veto of SB 283

By: Sam Olson
May 31, 2009

In an 11th hour, 28-14 vote, the Nevada Assembly reversed Jim Gibbons gubernatorial veto of SB 283, Nevada's Domestic Partnership Bill. This follows a 14-7 Senate vote last night that similarly sought to overturn the Governor's veto.

The move of the Legislature comes after a heavily attended rally at UNR on Tuesday, where citizens gathered to voice disapproval not only of the California Supreme Court's upholding of Proposition 8, but Governor Gibbons veto of SB 283.

Contrary to public belief, 283 is not a 'gay marriage' bill, but opens up an alternative to marriage for any two single adults not related by blood, conveying in one registration many of the rights contractually granted at great cost. SB 283 has been a point of contention throughout the legislative session, pitting Republicans and Democrats against each other, and against member of their own parties.

WOW! Good for Nevada and our LGBT!!

Nevada Senate Overrides Governor's Domestic Partnership Veto

Update: Assembly vote due after 6pm PST. Will post results.......

Nevada Senate Overrides Governor's Domestic Partnership Veto

The Nevada Senate has voted 14-7 to override Governor Jim Gibbons' veto of a domestic partnership bill

the Las Vegas Review Journal is reporting;

"The vote on Senate Bill 283 came following a dramatic speech by state Sen. Dennis Nolan, R-Las Vegas, who said he had received many vulgar and even threatening calls from people who demanded that he vote against the bill. Those kinds of calls do not mesh with 'the Christian beliefs I was brought up with,' Nolan said. He added that the bill does not at all undermine the 2002 voter-approved constitutional amendment that defines marriage as between a man and a woman. 'We have an obligation to ensure equal rights to all our citizens,' Nolan said. 'I believe in my heart that I am doing the right thing,' Nolan and state Sen. Dean Rhoads, R-Tuscarora, who both voted against the bill when it was passed April 21 on a 12-9 Senate vote, then joined the 12 original supporters to override Gibbons' veto by the required two-thirds margin."

[The assembly is expected to vote today. - Rebecca]

Two-thirds of the Assembly, 28 members, must vote to override Gibbons' veto or the bill dies.

Activists hope Assemblywoman Marilyn Kirkpatrick, D-North Las Vegas, and one other lawmaker who initially voted against the bill will vote to override the veto, giving the bill the votes needed to become law.

During the first tally in the Assembly, Kirkpatrick voted against the bill.

Some supporters had hoped for a Saturday night vote in the Assembly. But Assemblyman James Ohrenschall became ill earlier in the day and was briefly hospitalized.

The Progressive Leadership Alliance of Nevada also praised the vote.

"This was a resounding rejection of the governor's intolerance and it is wonderful to finally have something to celebrate," said Jan Gilbert, a PLAN lobbyist.

Gay and lesbian organizations also saluted the state Senate override.

"Today, we are one step closer to legally recognizing committed couples in Nevada who currently cannot get married or choose not to get married, but want the opportunity to recognize their relationships under state Law and the protections that will provide them," said Tod Story, a Gay and Lesbian Community Center board member in Las Vegas.

PA Community College Eliminates Protections Based on Sexual Orientation

Just in from Queers United........

Westmoreland County Community College Eliminates Protections Based on Sexual Orientation

For the past nine years Westmoreland County Community College in Pennsylvania has included "sexual orientation" and "union membership" under its non-discrimination policy.

"But the school now says there is another statement that does not contain those four words and that it is the only one approved as an official policy by college trustees in a 1998 vote.

So the college has begun the unusual task of striking references to both classes of people from its non-discrimination language, including a statement on the college's web site" (Post Gazette).

Further, this decision may be part of a cover up by the school to ensure they are not liable for a conflict with a former school employee who was denied health insurance for his spouse after he legally married in Massachusetts.

For the complete story, please head over to Queers United

Friday, May 29, 2009

Oh MAPLES! Glorious MAPLES!!

I want to shout it to the world - I am madly passionately wonderfully wildly in MAPLES with one amazing woman!!!

I got em all, all the time for My Love. We are talking red roses, moonlight, ocean waves, my heart beats fast when I see you, can't stop thinking about you ever Mania! A love that says I only want the best of everything for you, you are my soulmate, my partner, what is mine is yours, you bring out the best in me and let me see my place in life Agape. A love that says we were made for each other, it just makes sense to love you Pragma. And that belly laughing, prank playing, lets go play Ludus kind of love. A one look from you and I am ready kind of Eros thing going on and the everything we do is made better because I am doing it with you, we fit so well together kind of Storge love that says I love you more today than I did yesterday and it has been that way everyday for 985 days and it will be that way Baby, until time itself is no longer counted.

I just love you...........

  • Mania — highly emotional love; sometimes unstable; the stereotype of romantic love
  • Agape — selfless altruistic love; spiritual
  • Pragma — pragmatic love
  • Ludus — love is played as a game; or love is playful
  • Eros (love) — a passionate physical love based on physical appearance
  • Storge — an affectionate love that slowly develops, based on similarity

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Oh By The Way.......Meet My State's Defender Of Traditional Marriage.

Governor Jim Gibbons vetoed Nevada's domestic partnership bill on Memorial Day. This is late in coming because I haven't been able to digest it very well.

We knew he would. Jim Gibbons is not nor ever will be a person of sound reason nor intestinal fortitude when it comes to being governor. He isn't a stand up guy either. I won't totally discredit his guts, he served in Vietnam and the first Gulf "war" and earned many medals. But in all truth, he makes Ron Blagojevich look like an amateur.

Gibbons divorce papers were recently unsealed. His wife filed for and won the divorce on grounds of infidelity. Repeated grounds of infidelity including the 2006 charges of attempted sexual assault. (see below)

He defended himself by stating
"that he wanted his wife out of the Governor's Mansion because she was aggressive: "It was once said in another context that being in close quarters with such a volatile person was like being locked in a phone booth with an enraged ferret." Oh I guess she was pissed off about the other women and the sexual assault charges. Doesn't she know her place???

He is just one of many upstanding defenders of "traditional marriage."

His Wikipedia isn't very pretty:

In October 2006, near the conclusion of his successful campaign for governor, a woman accused Jim Gibbons of attempted sexual assault in a parking garage. Gibbons claimed he was helping her to her car. They both admitted to drinking alcohol at McCormick and Schmick's restaurant in Las Vegas.

In the initial aftermath of the event, Las Vegas Sheriff Bill Young, a long time supporter of Jim Gibbons and donor to his gubernatorial campaign, cited lack of evidence in the case and refused to bring evidence of the attack to the District Attorney. The accuser did not initially want to pursue pressing charges, saying she just wanted "to be left alone." But when the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department was forced to open the incident case file after inquiries by Las Vegas media, the Las Vegas Review Journal and the Las Vegas Sun released her name and she was thrust into the public eye. She later said she was being pressured to not talk to the police about the incident by people close to Jim Gibbons. In fact, the Gibbons campaign hired a private investigator to "talk" to the woman shortly after the incident occurred.

Under pressure from the media and eventually from the accuser herself, Sheriff Bill Young famously taunted the alleged victim to "bring it on" and sign a formal complaint. This was a highly irregular step, as most victims of assault are not required to sign a complaint before an investigation can begin. Nevertheless, she signed the complaint and there was a further investigation. The evidence was given to the Las Vegas District Attorney, David Roger, who had also donated to the Gibbons campaign. Criminal charges were never filed in the case.
Gibbons' gubernatorial campaign manager, Robert Uithoven, speculated in an e-mail to Gibbons' supporters that Dina Titus, Gibbons' opponent, hired the woman to entice Gibbons. Titus retorted that to do this she would have had to control where Gibbons went, who he was with, and even the weather (Gibbons claimed he was helping the woman to her car in part because of the weather)

This year, the alleged victim has filed a civil suit against Jim Gibbons, specifically alleging battery, false imprisonment and second-degree kidnapping as well as deceit about the episode.

A speech given in February 2005 by Rep. Gibbons in Elko, Nevada was actually plagiarized from a copyrighted speech delivered in 2003 by then-Alabama State Auditor Beth Chapman at a "Stand up America" rally.

On November 1, 2006, the Wall Street Journal published a story stating that Gibbons had earmarked several millions of dollars to a company owned by Warren Trepp, as well as added additional funds to a pre-existing government contract with Trepp's company. The report noted that Trepp had paid for a $10,000 cruise for Gibbons and his wife, which Gibbons failed to report, and $100,000 in campaign contributions. A former Trepp business partner claimed that Gibbons was also given gambling chips – convertible into cash – and cash directly.

On February 15, 2007, the Wall Street Journal reported that Gibbons was under federal investigation for allegedly accepting unreported gifts and/or payments from Trepp in exchange for official acts while he served in Congress (1997–2007).

According to reports, on March 22, 2005, days before Trepp and his wife left for the Caribbean cruise with Gibbons and his family, JalĂ© Trepp, Warren’s wife, sent a reminder to her husband. It said, “Please don't forget to bring the money you promised Jim and Dawn (Gibbons).” Minutes later, Trepp responded, “Don't you ever send this kind of message to me! Erase this message from your computer right now!”
The U.S. Attorney for Nevada at time of the investigation was Daniel Bogden, who was one of seven federal prosecutors forced out of his job by the Bush administration in December 2006.

Gibbons set up a legal defense fund just before the November, 2006 gubernatorial election to help pay for legal expenses incurred after a woman accused him of attempted sexual assault.
Gibbons neither reported the legal defense fund to the appropriate U.S. House of Representatives committee (even though he was a sitting congressman at the time and was required by House rules to do so), nor did he report donations to his legal defense fund as contributions to his gubernatorial campaign, citing the money was for "personal use" and not for "political purposes."

In Januar
y 2008, it was reported that Gibbons raised $256,000 for his legal defense fund during 2007, including a $61,000 personal loan Gibbons gave to his own fund, as well as $10,000 from The Palms hotel and casino, and $40,000 from various companies connected to Las Vegas Sands Corporation Chief Executive Sheldon Adelson. The defense fund has spent money to defend Gibbons in cases which include:

* Investigations into the allegations that Gibbons secured defense contracts for his friend Warren Trepp in exchange for gifts and money during his time in Congress, 1997-2006.
* A nepotism scandal regarding Sierra Nevada Corporation's hire of Nevada first lady Dawn Gibbons as a consultant. Sierra Nevada paid Dawn Gibbons $35,000 at the same time Jim Gibbons
helped the company get a no-bid federal contract.
* Gibbons' alleged attempted sexual assault of a Las Vegas woman in 2006
* Questions about Gibbons' employment of an illegal immigrant as a nanny

Gibbons has vetoed more bills than any other governor in the history of Nevada, not only this one b
ut most recently:

AB 121: Requires hospitals in Washoe and Clark counties to create a staffing committee and staffing plan that addresses nurse-to-patient ratios. Gibbons said the bill "unnecessarily legislates" an area that should be left to medical professionals. Nevada has a serious nursing shortage.
Status: Awaiting override vote

AB 473: Requires additional medical emergency training for corrections staff and a better inventory of dental and medical supplies. Gibbons said the requirements already exist in current law. Medical supplies disappear like crazy from our jails and prisons.
Status: Awaiting override vote

His voting record as a congressman:

* Voted YES on Constitutionally defining marriage as one-man-one-woman. (Jul 2006)
* Voted YES on constitutional amendment prohibiting flag desecration. (Jun 2003)
* Rated 7% by the ACLU, indicating what the group considers an "anti-civil liberties" voting record. (Dec 2002)
* Voted YES on making the PATRIOT Act permanent. (Dec 2005)

His record on Education as governor, Nevada ranks in the lower half in this area:

* In January 2007, Governor Gibbons asked Nevada lawmakers to approve his budget that cut the percentage of education funding in Nevada to increase the percentage for public safety and human services programs.
* In 2008, Gibbons suggested that the Nevada legislature cut the state general fund budget for elementary, secondary and higher education by 14% (this does not include federal or local revenues, or funds for construction or teacher penions). Jim Rogers, Nevada Chancellor for Education, said of the budget cuts, "We’re talking about something that is going to cripple us financially
and competitively. The effects will be felt on our economy for the next 50 to 100 years."

His record on education as a Congressman.

* Rated 10% by the NEA, indicating what the group considers "anti-public education spending" votes.
* Voted YES on allowing prayer in public schools during the War on Terror.
* Voted YES on letting public schools display the words "God Bless America."
* Supports a Constitutional Amendment for prayer in public schools.
* Gibbons supports "No Child Left Behind."

Please visit America's Worst Governor to find out more about Jim Gibbons

Look At Who Is On Our Side

Rob Thomas on the Huffington Post -- "I believe the fact that an atheist, who doesn't believe in God at all, is allowed to enter into the holy land of marriage while a gay Christian is not, shows that this law is arbitrary. Are we to believe that anyone who doesn't live their life according to the King James Bible isn't protected by the same laws that protect those who do? Using the same argument that I've seen on the 700 Club, that would mean that Jewish, Hindu, or Muslim weddings are also null and void. "

This wasn't the blog I sat down to write, but I just had to check out a headline about something or other on My Google first, and that led me to the story know how it is on the internet when you start clicking links, LOL, sometimes, you can find little nuggets of gold along the way.

The blog I sat down to write was going to go hand in hand with the post on Blogging For Truth, but after reading the article by Rob Thomas, YES the singer-songwriter, I decided to blog about our supporters. Cause the truth is we have amazing supporters. Maybe the Truth is we have been taught for so long to be down on everyone and everything and it looks like even President Obama has pushed us to the back of the bus if not under it, and maybe sometimes we even get down on ourselves that maybe we forget WE ARE WORTH FULL HUMAN RIGHTS!

Just look at the caliber of those who are on our side:

Not only Rob Thomas but Coretta Scott King, Julian Bond, Ariana Huffington, Nancy Pelosi, the Iowa Supreme Court: Chief Justice Marsha K. Ternus, Justice Mark S. Cady Justice Michael J. Streit, Justice David S. Wiggins, Justice Daryl L. Hecht, Justice Brent R. Appel and Justice David L. Baker. Mary Griffith, who learned the hardest way you can what the hate can do, and wrote A Prayer For Bobby. The 13-member Washington D.C. Council, the Legislatures of Vermont and Maine and Maine's Governor, writers D. Allen Kerr and Annie Proulx. There are so many many more, I don't even know their names. Hundreds of Rabbis and Synagogues. Literally thousands of Pastors, Ministers, Deacons and Laypersons with in the Christian Church. Some Muslim Mosques and Temples, most American Buddhists and Taoists and each of these religions has millions, yes millions of members who also believe in our rights not because any of these are LGBTQ themselves, but because they believe it is only fair, only right, only human and only how God, no matter how God is named, would want them and us to treat our fellow human beings.

And there are within our own community not only the names like singer Melissa Etheridge and Ellen Degeneres, but Dr. Mel White, actor Sir Ian McKellen, internet activist John Aravosis, author David Benjamin Mixner, journalist David Brill, Matt Foreman of The Task Force, the, author Joseph Beam, activist Cleve Jones, and all the bloggers and "citizen journalists" just like you that every day share their experiences, hopes, dreams, heartbreaks and news items with the world. The millions of LGBTQ that march, write, speak out and get the hell out of the closet. You may not realize it but even the little everyday things touch somebody somewhere and maybe even change a mind or two. And isn't that really how a movement begins and grows and wins? One mind, one heart, one soul being touched by another and finding their world changed for the better.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

CA Supreme Court Upholds Prop H8, But does not invalidate ones in place

The California Supreme Court has upheld Prop 8, but it will not overturn the 18,000 marriages already in place.
The supporters of Equality, will take the case higher.
One thing the CA Supreme Court has certainly managed to do with this ruling, is create separate but equal issues....on to the US Supreme Court I would would be nice if it takes some time though, the make up of the court is still too right leaning.....
There is live video by the way on

Protest locations can be found at Day Of Decision's cities list...

"No civil rights movement has EVER lost. Never. It is not a matter of if our community will win full equal rights, including marriage. It is only a matter of when. But as in all civil rights movements, we will have to fight like hell for it."
-Robin Tyler, petitioner-case to overturn prop 8

Today, The California Supreme Court Decides

Today, The California Supreme Court Decides...

They get to decide if 18,000 marriages remain in place, to decide if more couples can join them or not, to decide on something that in my opinion these men and women should never have needed to consider. Does marriage include all couples over 18 who should be free to make up their own choices who to love or not. Or does it include only who religion has said it should include? Then they need to go through their books and see it includes a lot of people they say they don't approve of already.

I don't envy the Court, but my heart goes out to not only the 18,000 but to the thousands more who want to get married and only an unconstitutional law is stopping them.

My heart goes out to those who have faced an increase in violent hate crimes against them because somehow the haters saw last November's passage of H8 as an excuse to act out. And my heart goes out to those of us who keep hoping someday this will be a non-issue because love will win out in the end.

And it isn't just my heart but my fight too, they aren't just my neighboring state, they are my brothers and sisters in a battle for equal rights. I won't give up the fight no matter the decision, I know they won't either.

I pray that reason will win out in the end. I believe in the end it will, life is often unfair, but in the end, it is always just. We wait with you California.

Cross posted at Blogging for Truth

Learning To Love Again After A Winter Of Discontent....

When the idea for Blogging For Truth came to me, that maybe we should discuss what the hate really does, I didn't realize at the time, but I was going through a season that was the direct result of "feeling the hate." I started to notice the loudest, cruelest, most violent voices against the entire LGBTQ community were coming from my so called fellow Christians.

I am a firm believer that God is always our defense. But I forgot I believed that for a while. I forgot to keep my eyes on the Lord, and instead started looking at the faces who where shouting at us the loudest.

I listened to their voices and not God's. I watched their faces twisted in hate and not God's. I took in their words and not God's and because of this I began to doubt in God, because God was starting to look a lot like Maggie Gallagher.

I started to think that all Christians were like that, and if they were and we are to "know them by their fruits," then all of religion was fetid fruit indeed. For the first time since I first really, really believed in 1973, I began to question if there even was a God above. I started to respond to the hate with hate in my own heart. I couldn't think clearly, I felt depressed and I didn't know why I felt so angry about everything all the time.

Because I wasn't listening anymore to God, but the voices of hate around me, in the news, on the TV, blogs, online news outlets, and You Tube, He had to speak to me in other ways. I started getting books to work on with titles like "How God Changes Your Brain" by neurosurgeon, Andrew Newberg, M. D. and "A People's History of Christianity: The Other Side of the Story" by Diana Butler Bass. Then, I ran across something I had never seen before, called The Didache and finally He took me back to SisterFriends Together, specifically to a post called More Jesus, Less Religion. And He spoke to me through Lorrie more often than she will ever know, because He knows I can't help but listen to her.

The Didache I came across early in the winter, it is THE early new testament. It was handed out to nearly every new convert during the first few centuries. It was either written by or dictated by the Apostolic Fathers in common. It has never been disputed as authentic cannon but had not been chosen to be included in what we now call "The Bible" because many believed it was inelegant and had been widely distributed already. It is everything the Christian way of life was supposed to be.

The major point in How God Changes Your Brain, to me, was when Dr. Newberg explains how much believing in God and worship, and meditation on God improves our mental well being, functions and overall health. That certain areas of our brain actually grow, our reasoning functions and higher thinking abilities increase in other positive areas. He shows how there are measurable physical differences between believers and non believers and how people who are religious and who hate, suffer actual brain damage. Irreversible brain damage. The hate damages core areas in the brain that are needed for reason and higher thinking. I have always believed God speaks to each of us in ways that will personally touch us. ( or get through our thick skulls?) This book spoke volumes to me, not the least being I better let go of the hate before it was too late.

What I read in A People's History of Christianity reminded me that believing in Jesus is a way of life, that there is a whole history of "after" Jesus that as a people we have forgotten and that Jesus' teachings have always been inclusive, enlightened, personal and most assuredly revolutionary. It isn't the Systems of Belief that are preached from many a pulpit, it is about a simple way of life that is highly spiritual, loving, sometimes difficult and always committed.

Lastly I came upon the post "More Jesus, Less Religion." In it, Anita says nearly the same thing about the way of life and she says: "So this is my year to walk a new path, to take the fork in the road; not away from God but away from name-brand Christianity, a Christianity that has become a distraction and obstacle to experiencing an authentic encounter with God and engaging in a life of radical grace and love that was and remains the watermark of the earthly life of Jesus, the Son of God. -- During this year I’m choosing to no longer self-identify as a Christian but as a follower of Jesus. Before the early Christians were known as Christians they were called the People of the Way."

It seems it isn't my year to walk away from God either, but to start following The Way, and I think after escaping the hate, I can see how easy it is to fall into that never ending cycle of it.

I am so thankful that it is "....the work of God, that you believe on him whom he has sent." (John 6:29), because otherwise I think I would have lost to and been consumed by the hate. I am thankful because He is faithful even when those who call themselves by His name are not, I am thankful He knows how to talk to me even when I am hard hearted (and headed) and don't want to listen, I am grateful He gave me Lorrie to listen to, learn from, to love and be loved by.

Psalm 91 [personalized]

She who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD,
“He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
He will cover me with his feathers,
and under his wings I will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be my shield and rampart.
I will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
“Because she loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue her;
I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name.
will call upon me, and I will answer her;
I will be with her in trouble,
I will deliver her and honor her.
With long life will I satisfy her
and show her my salvation.”

Monday, May 25, 2009

Remembering Those Who Fight For Our Freedoms

Today is Memorial Day and as such I would like to take the time to remember Major Alan Rogers. As you may not know, Alan was killed in Iraq by an IED on January 27, 2008. According to his commander, he shielded two others from the blast, who likely would have been killed were it not for Alan’s bravery. Alan was laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery on March 14th, 2008, in the presence of more than two hundred grieving but proud friends, fellow soldiers, and family members.
Why do I want us to remember Major Alan Rogers? I did not personally know this brave man but I would have liked to.

Someone who did know Major Rogers, Sharon Alexander of the Gay Military Times, said this last year in a loving tribute to her friend:

"Why does it matter? Why should anyone need to know that Alan Rogers, an American patriot who died doing what he loved most – serving our country – also happened to be gay?

It matters because in our country the law says that gay people who want to serve in our nation’s Armed Forces have to conceal their identity for the privilege of doing so. And as a result, thousands of very good, fair, and decent straight service members have no idea how many of the phenomenal people they work with every day also happen to be gay. This invisibility creates an environment of complacency about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and what it requires of gay Americans in uniform. And change does not happen in an environment of complacency.

This part of Alan’s story is important because Alan can put a face on gay service members in his death, even if he couldn’t during his life. Alan was by every metric an utterly superb Army officer. He gave his life for our country, and saved two other lives in the course of sacrificing his own. He also happened to be gay. So why do we have a law in this country that makes Alan’s life less worthy than any other? Why should Alan have had to sacrifice the freedom to live honestly among his military peers, to date and maybe even find someone special enough to spend his life with? Why did he have to give so much more as a privilege of serving our country? These are the questions Alan’s life and death pose for all of us."

There are thousands of Gays and Lesbians serving today in every branch of our armed forces, they serve because they feel what I know I do, that this is the greatest country in the world, and they have chosen to defend it with their lives. Unlike myself, they must continue to hide a part of themselves that is integral to who they are in order to do this.

As a fellow American, proud and loyal to this country, I hope Major Allen Rogers and his face will continue to serve this country by encouraging each of us to continue the fight of forcing America and her people to live up to the ideals of "...[T]hat all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. "

Sunday, May 24, 2009

About Ex-Gay ( or Reparative or Conversion or Aversion) Therapy

A number of times I have blogged about "Ex-Gay" therapy and I guess you could say I am very, very opposed to it. I am opposed to it so vehemently because for so many years I worked my own "Ex-Gay" Therapy on myself with the help of my one time church and others. It was disastrously unsuccessful.

Finally, thankfully by the grace of God, and I believe through God, I was led out of this lie. In speaking to and reading about others who came to the same realization, it kind of got into my head that this philosophy of the Ex-Gay Industry's that one's true nature can be changed either by prayer, support or aversion therapies was very dangerous to one's general well being, mental health and even physical health, and that only people with lots of hate in their souls could adhere to it.

I have not changed my mind about the therapies, or the industry that has sprung up because of these therapies, they are soul damaging. I have changed a couple of things that I believed about the people who attend the Love Won Out workshops for friends and families of gays. I see now that in the absence of better public knowledge, and because they don't know where else to turn, they are led to these events because they have better publicity. Either in the newspapers or churches. They are better organized in other words.

What changed my mind was the series of articles by Jim Burroway about when he attended a Love Won Out workshop in 2007. I think they are worth reading because like Jim says, it isn't always about the hate we are fighting, maybe we need to reach out with more love ourselves to the families who are hurting too.......

The articles can be accessed at: Box Turtle Bulletin, one of my favorite web sites.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Sometimes, you just gotta say it!

For your viewing pleasure From the Big Fat Gay Collab!
The Big Fat Gay Collab is a project by StevieBeeBishop on You Tube. He was inspired by the song F*#K You by Lilly Allen who says of her song: "this song is not a direct attack at anyone, it was originally written about the BNP in the UK but then I felt this issue has become relevant pretty much everywhere, we are the youth, we can make coolness for our future, its up to us. Go green and hate hate." ( The BNP is the British National Party, a far right, whites-only political party, hmmmmmmmmm, kinda like the Republican party in the U.S.??? LMAO, except they only recieved .7% of the popular vote.)
The video and song were put together to encourage LGBT youth to just shake off the hate. That is often easier said than done, but I know the video gave me a smile, I hope it gives you one too.
(Warning contains the F word, don't watch if you might be offended)

Sunday, May 17, 2009


There is a group of young women who have decided to travel across our nation to point out the growing problem of teen homelessness. In this, the richest country in the world, we have nearly 2 million homeless teenagers. Several recent studies have pointed out that 40% of these teens are LGBTQ. Homeless only because their families reject them because of who they are....

Please visit Homeless Youth Pride Walk 2009 to support this effort, and contact your local shelters to find out what you can do to help.

From their blog:

In May, 2009, Jill Hardman, Nicole Tomlin, and Chloe Michelle Noble are
walking across the United States to raise awareness for LGBTQ homeless youth in America. They will set out from Seattle, Washington, traveling 6000 miles (3000 of it on foot) across the United States in over 6 months. They will be living out of their backpacks for most of their journey, which will give them a unique opportunity to document the lives of homeless youth all over the United States. (They will not be using any resources saved for homeless youth.)

"Almost 40% of homeless youth in America identify as LGBTQ. This diverse group of Queer youth has a unique and powerful voice. We want to support them in their progress and give them a platform to stand on. Studies show that many homeless youth who receive appropriate guidance, support, resources, and encouragement, eventually become successful members of the community. By raising awareness we hope to inspire others to make sure more resources are available to homeless youth for this reason." -- Chloe Michelle Noble

cross posted at The Truth About LGBTQ Youth.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Semester is Over, and of course Oklahoma!

Finally the semester from hell is OVER!!! And I seem to have passed everything! There was some doubt on one of my classes, maybe two of them but somehow I pulled them through PHEW.

I know I have whined a little about it, and even used it as an excuse for not blogging nearly enough, however I have no excuses for the summer so I need to make up for things.
During finals, as you know, I flew to Oklahoma to be with My Love and I know I needed that! And I know Lorrie did too! I think being with Lorrie let me pass Algebra, yeah, Algebra, LOL. Anyway I had been way too stressed about it and it was good to relax before the final because I got through it.

Oklahoma was a lot of fun, of course Lorrie and I were together and we can bear anything as long as we are together. My sister and Roy are great hosts, I ditto what Lorrie said there. It rained most of the time we were there, so the itinerary was off, yes Virginia, there is a God!! LOL, OK, I don't want to hurt Kathy's feelings but just hanging out with them, seeing the town and their property was exactly what we needed. I think I may have mentioned before that Lorrie is the absolute love of my life and that every moment with her is just wonderful, no matter what we are doing. When we are together, I am always at peace and whole.

We behaved in public and so everything was fine. It did feel weird to remember not to hold her hand or give her a quick kiss as we were walking around, but we managed. At least at dinner I could gaze into her eyes while we talked! And my sister's back patio and yard is wonderfully landscaped so that it is very private, we could hold hands while we sat there and talked with Kathy and Roy. I really enjoyed walking around Stillwater and seeing the campus and my sister's office, I have always been proud of her and now I can picture her working there.
That's Lorrie with Joy and Roy with Sunny and Biko on OSU campus--->

We had some rather strange meetings with some folks though. When we got back to the hotel after going out for some Italian, we met a rather drunk "gentleman" at the elevator who after he got in, saw a friend headed towards us, and proudly informed us that his friend had a 12 inch c%#k! LMAO. The big 12 incher then got on the elevator with us and we rode up listening to the drunk ramblings of the first guy, I can't remember what else he said because well, I was soooooooooooo tempted to say that mine was only 9" but thought better of it at the last moment. I think Lorrie would have been mortified! (She may be mortified I just blogged that) LOL! We ended up not saying anything at all because well, frankly, we didn't really care! But we died laughing when we got back in the room.

I learned that most Oklahomans drink iced or hot tea, not coffee, Kathy proudly showed us their new Starbucks, first in the town, and brand spankin' new! Wow! 2009 and they just got their first Starbucks!!! If you looked at one of the quizzes you saw I am a coffee drinker. I do indeed drink it from morning till night. Now if you go to Oklahoma or Stillwater at least and you order coffee they bring you a cup of it. Then you have to ask for the cream to go with it, then if you want a re-fill you have to ask for it, every-single-time. At first I thought the wait staff just wasn't very good, but I realized that wasn't it at all. Lorrie, the tea drinker, had an endless supply of re-fills, whether she wanted them or not! It was just that they aren't used to us coffee drinkers at all and don't know how to treat us. Kathy confirmed this fact later on. Roy had to dig her percolator out of the attic for me. (That man is a saint!)

One of the things that Lorrie and I did before we went, was a web search for a local LGBT bar. And we discovered there wasn't one. There is a bar called the Stonewall Inn (after the Civil War General Stonewall Jackson, not Stonewall 1969, NY City) The review said that while it wasn't a "gay" bar, it was the only one that was accepting. So when Kathy and Roy wanted to show us the night life, we asked them if they knew about the Stonewall. They did. Roy plays Foosball there often it seems! And he is really really good at it too. So Monday night, because Saturday night was Lorrie and mine "alone", and all bars and liquor stores are closed on Sunday.......we went Monday night. And as Lorrie said, we played table shuffleboard and Foosball. I had the good fortune to have Roy as my teammate in Foosball and we beat the hell out of Lorrie and Kathy!!! Has Lorrie ever mentioned the competitor in HER? LOL. God it felt good to finally win against her! Whoops! (Oh Baby! I love the competitor in you!)

After a number of beers, I felt nature call. When I came out of the stall, I was greeted by this young, blond, perky, co-ed, She said HOWDY!!!! I said HI! (big mistake) LOL. As I was washing my hands this young lady started talking to me. She told me she was from Colorado and her parents sent her to OSU because it was conservative. They wanted her to be influenced by good conservative people. She was telling me all about this misery she felt and she kept getting close and talking to me very close, she was making me very, verrrrrrrrry nervous! It seemed like she was going to kiss me in the Stonewall bathroom! Sorry, I ONLY kiss Lorrie in the bathrooms of bars, airports and restaurants!

So in my glorious panicked state, I suggested she come meet my sister, brother-in-law and my GIRLFRIEND. I really wanted out of there badly. She said great! Let's go. Her name was Stephanie. As we approached the table, all I could see was LORRIE!!!!!! And this LOOK on her face!!! I needed a Southwest ding, and I needed it 20 minutes ago!!! I don't remember much, all I could think in my head was, "I didn't do anything, don't kill me Baby, strays just always follow me home"...but I KNOW I introduced her to my sister and Roy and MY GIRLFRIEND!

Once she met everyone, I sat next to (nearly on top of) Lorrie, and held on to her hand. For dear life! I almost fell out of my chair when Stephanie told us she was horny and had a dildo and asked me if I was a lesbian. Then she laid a big sloppy kiss ON LORRIE, never knowing how close she came to being slapped!!! Salvador Dali himself could not have painted how I was feeling at that moment. Fortunately she REALLY LIKED my sister. Somehow she got my sister to go to the bathroom with her and grabbed her breast! My sister ran out of there, and Stephanie followed her back!

You know I am making light here, but really it was very sad. Stephanie was very very drunk, she hated that she was in OK, she hated Stillwater and she was mad at her parents because she felt they just didn't want her, and she was literally offering sex to strangers so they would buy her shots. (later on rather blatantly) I did buy one round, but in no way shape or form wanted sex with her and was very sorry when she ordered SOCO's, yeck, and then I was even sorrier she didn't just pass out afterwards. That would have been merciful.

The night just kept getting weirder when her boyfriend (just where had he been this whole time?) came along and wanted to get friendly with Lorrie and I and kept hugging me. The evening ended with Stephanie offering to blow Roy for a couple of shots (YES REALLY!) and after that one, the four of us literally RAN out of the bar!!!!!!!!!! 20 years in Nevada, nor any other time in my life, I have never had a night, nor met anyone like that!!! While really weird and maybe even funny, Stephanie was the saddest girl I had ever met. I hope her parents let her come back to Colorado. Their intentions may have been good, but we all know where good intentions lead.....

I can't say much more than that. It is wonderful to be with Lorrie no matter where we are. I love her beyondly, and can't wait until next year!!!!! Oh, and don't ever say Hi or Howdy to me in a bathroom, I just won't answer back........

Friday, May 8, 2009

More than OK in OK

Stressful getting there.
Finally got there on Saturday.
No luggage until Monday!
Drove my Mazda 3 rental through the pouring rain as fast as I could to get to Stillwater (where Rebecca was staying with her sister)!
My Honey met me at the end of the driveway, hopped in the car so we could greet each other properly!
Met Kathy and Roy. They are wonderful hosts and wonderful cooks! Their three dogs are so adorable, loved them!
Had amazing home cooked mexican food for lunch while trying to remain patient and not attack Rebecca at the lunch table, lol!
We quickly gathered up Rebecca's luggage from the guest room...after making out for a little..and then headed off to check into the hotel!
We made it to the room.

(I need to find some lesbian emoticons!)
you know....more...and more...and more...never enough!!!

Sometime that night we made it back out of the room to get a bite to eat.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh....very relaxed...full of smiles!

Sunday morning...brunch at Kathy and Roy's..again it was wonderful and so very filling.
Followed by a walk around OSU, a chance to talk and get to know each other.
A drive out to their 25 acre lot soon to be their new home!
A chance to get to know the ticks and the chiggers, lol!I'll let Rebecca explain that one!

Back to the hotel for more alone time!!!!!!!!


Waking up in the morning with Rebecca!

Wowwwwwwwww!!! The best way to wake up ever!!!!!!!

Speechless now...but we weren't then!!!!!! luggage finally shows up. Good thing, things were getting pretty close to being smelly!Lunch at the Crepe Myrtle....yummy!
Kathy and Roy joined us.
Good conversation.I loved watching Rebecca converse with her sister; I even learned a few things, lol...all good of course Baby!I can see your family is way more into debating all the issues than mine ever was. I found it interesting. I have a lot to learn from you and your family!
More walking around Stillwater.
Free coffee and chai tea. A previous customer was "passing on the good". After somebody had purchased some groceries for her (I think it was groceries, right Baby?), she decided to buy coffee and tea for others! I've never had that happen to me before.Thank You!

Back to the hotel room....yeah I heard it before!

Italian night at Kathy and Roys.
We rolled our own pasta. I loved it, loved doing it and loved eating it.
I even ordered a pasta roller when I got home to do with the kids!
Started watching a movie. I fell asleep on the floor next to Rebecca. Sorry about that but a full belly and a few glasses of wine will do that to me everytime!
Oh..but did I mention the mat on the floor was way more comfortable than the mattress in the hotel!It was almost as hard as a rock. But it only bothered us when we were laying still...trying to sleep. I guess that was the problem Baby, why were we trying to sleep???

Then off to the Stonewall, a bar close to OSU.
Good drinks. Table shuffleboard. Foosball, boy do I suck! More good drinks. Good conversation.
And then Stephanie (a whole other story,and a sad one at that).
A Fun night!

Back to the hotel room!!!!! Trying not to think about the fact that we had to go home the next day.Believe me, we made the best of it...and the best of the next morning!I miss my mornings with Rebecca every morning, how wonderful it is to wake up with her!

Lunch at Eskimo Joes. The food was good. Kathy and Roy were able to join us again.
I suffered a brain fart and should have paid for their lunch. Must have been that mesmerizing red button up shirt Rebeccawas wearing showing off her cleavage! Sorry Kathy and Roy, I will do better next time! was back to the airport...hoping the whole time that our flights were delayed! No luck
:( We said our good byes:(
Baby, I am glad we decided to use that bathroom!!!

It has only been a little over three days and it seems like over three weeks!!!!!!!! I miss you Baby! A good time was had by all!!!!! I am so happy that I was able to meet and get to know Rebecca's sister and brother-in-law.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A Great Time In Oklahoma!

Lorrie finally made it to Oklahoma!!! LOL Saturday around 1pm!!!!!!! OMG I thought those 15 extra hours were going to kill me and Lorrie too.......she did finally make it into town and we had a great time. My sister and brother-in-law drove out to Oklahoma City and picked me up Friday since Lorrie wasn't going to be there and I spent the night at their house. It was wonderful to see them again and we had a great time talking and catching up. It is the first time I had been to their place and it is adorable. We also went out to their 25 acres where they are getting ready to build their dream house.
Both of them are fantastic cooks, he made the most amazing Mexican and Italian food and my sister baked like crazy for us. She made me this homemade chocolate cake from scratch that was to die for and these little loaf cakes too. I feel like I gained 10 pounds!
I just got home, so we will have to blog more about this later.
I feel much better after spending time with Lorrie of course~and should be less cranky for a little while............

Friday, May 1, 2009

Very Frustrated

I'm supposed to be in Oklahoma City with Rebecca tonight....but all flights to the mid west were delayed so I am still in Phila. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will try again tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!
The countdown continues........
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