Thursday, April 30, 2009

Counting down the seconds.........

37 hours......
We added the countdown clock over on the right as a fun way to mark the time until we are physically together. I also have one on all my desktops, even here at work....LOL, how distracting! Like I really need a reminder of when I will be with Lorrie again. I don't, trust me, but then I am a dork, and a geek and Lorrie really really loves me anyway.

Lorrie is simply amazing. She is intelligent, loving, kind, patient, sexy, beautiful, the best lover in the world, passionate, sexy, fun, funny and did I say very, very sexy?

The past 3 months have been way too long for me, and Lorrie too....I am glad we only have to wait another year! But right now, I am very, very glad we only have 37 hours until we are together!!!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

What's on My Mind

Is it Friday night yet?
I need to do laundry.
I can't wait to see Rebecca!
I need to figure out what to pack.
I want to be touching her so much!
Should I wear a mask on the plane...I don't want to be sick when I 'm with Rebecca.
I can't wait to be holding her!
Is it Friday night yet?
I need to make sure my daughter has everything she needs for the dance on Friday night.
I need to make sure the h knows all of the comings and goings of the kids this weekend.
I NEED to make love to Rebecca!!
Is it Friday night yet?
I need to finish some things up at work before Friday afternoon.
What should I make for dinner tomorrow night...oh hell, we'll just eat out!
I need to be doing that to Rebecca!!! YESSSSSSS!!
Is it Friday night yet?
I need to clean up the kitchen.
I need to go to bed.
I need to be in bed with Rebecca!!
Is it Friday night yet?
Should I check my luggage or just carry on?
Oh hell, who cares what I I need clothes anyway!
Sex with Rebecca is AMAZING!!
Is it Friday night yet?

Friday, April 24, 2009

This Semester is Almost Over....And I Have Been Thinking...Again...

And it can't end soon enough!!! I over loaded my schedule and then work started requiring OT and Saturdays too! County libraries do not seem to be having too many financial troubles this year damn it.

This Friday, Lorrie and I are traveling to my little sister's place, I just got an email from her with an itinerary, OMG NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have told her several times we just want to visit and relax, but she seems bound and determined to force us to see Oklahoma. Sigh. I think Lorrie's and my patience will be sorely tested. At least we aren't driving out to her place the first night, we will stay near the airport. We need that "re-connecting" time, we sure do, we so very much do, WE SVFGDMUCH DO!!!!!!!!!! sooooo......can we change our plane reservations to say, maybe, Chicago??? What do you think Baby?? LOL.

I love my little sister very much and she is very excited to be meeting Lorrie and all, I guess we can't disappoint her...I guess.....after all she was the first family member, after the ex and my boys, I came out to and she has always been very, very, very supportive and happy for me.

She and I are really only a year apart, and most of the time growing up it felt like we were not just sisters but twins. Still, I used to pay her a dollar sometimes NOT to hang out with my friends and I, when she was pesty sometimes, (Gawd I was a mean sister!) but my friends were her friends too as hers were mine also. She would come find us after about an hour anyway, and I didn't always have another dollar, LOL.

I wish my sister lived in another state, traveling to the South right now doesn't feel so comfortable. Lorrie and I have become used to holding hands in public without much thought, we've stayed here in Reno or Philly or gone to cities that are more forward thinking. My sister isn't sure what we may encounter if we were to do that there, she said probably just name calling, no violence. It is a college town at least, but we won't hold hands just to be safe.

What a thought, that here, in the United States, we have to monitor our natural feelings of love and affection for each other to avoid verbal or even physical abuse.

I have read some comments about LGBT activists lately, they say that we just want to push our lifestyle on other people. They wouldn't hurt so much but they have been written by LGBT people themselves. I really don't care if someone doesn't wish to advocate for equal rights. We are after all a large group of people who believe most of the bad that is said about us. I have found many in the community just want things to quiet down and quit drawing attention to ourselves. If we didn't believe the bad, we would have made a bigger noise in the early 70's after Stonewall and Anita Bryant, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson began the Anti-Gay Industry. We believe it because that is how we were raised, it is deeply ingrained.

But advocating for every human being's equal rights is something I do. I have for most of my life. It hasn't always been LGBT rights, it had been for every ethnic minority, every disabled person and every woman. It is LGBT rights right now, because this time it is the most personal.

Why do I fight for human rights? I seem to have been born with, or very early on developed, something in me that finds injustice of any kind offensive. Really offensive. See, I believe all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood. I do not seek a Utopia, I don't believe they exist. But I do believe that when the majority of people treat each other as they themselves wish to be treated, then we can have a better, if not perfect world.

That LGBT people are discriminated against, in their day to day lives, within the courts, within their places of employment and in housing, is injustice of the worst kind. Life isn't always fair, but we should always strive to make it JUST. After all, don't we talk about judgment day? In the end, justice will always be served.

I do not seek anything at all for LGBT persons except freedom from fear, the freedom to live where we want, the freedom to work where we want, the freedom to choose as my heir the person I love, but most of all, I fight for the freedom to love fully and completely whom my heart has chosen.

I fight because I have hope that people will become more accepting, I hope because then the next generation of LGBT youth may not have to hate themselves so much, that women like me do not take such drastic measures to deny who they are so that their family will love them. I have hope that no more men, women and children will be hurt and families torn apart because we married so we could become more acceptable to society as a whole, but then found that life utterly unbearable. I hope we are more accepted so that gay men, lesbian women, bi-sexuals and transgender folks are no longer called names, beaten and murdered.

I fight because right now, our society has made being gay so evil, so wretched, that two boys, from two different cities, recently committed suicide because their school peers kept calling them gay. These boys did not identify as gay, they were both 11, they both believed being called gay was so bad, so awful they no longer wished to live.

You don't have to fight for your rights, there will always be people that will do it for you, I don't have to fight either, there will always be someone else. I just need to, it is who I am. I like who I am.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Spring in PA

I love this time of year.........

Friday, April 17, 2009

Day Of Silence: April 17, 2009

The National Day of Silence brings attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. Each year the event has grown, now with hundreds of thousands of students coming together to encourage schools and classmates to address the problem of anti-LGBT behavior.

All material on this post was taken from GLSEN website to promote the Day Of Silence.

The History of the Day of Silence®Founded in 1996, the Day of Silence has become the largest single student-led action towards creating safer schools for all, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. From the first-ever Day of Silence at the University of Virginia in 1996, to the organizing efforts in over 8,000 middle schools, high schools, colleges and universities across the country in 2008, its textured history reflects its diversity in both numbers and reach.
The Truth about the Day of SilenceEvery year, more and more students participate in the Day of Silence, which began 12 years ago when University of Virginia students wanted to find a way to bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment on campus.As the day’s popularity and exposure have increased, many misperceptions have spread about what the Day of Silence is, why the day exists and what participating in it means. Here are 4 truths that address common misinformation about the Day of Silence.

1) The Day of Silence’s purpose is to
bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment and effective
responses.The goal of the Day of Silence is to make schools safer for all
students, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity/expression. In a
Harris Interactive study on bullying, students said two of the top three reasons
students are harassed in school are actual or perceived sexual orientation and
gender expression. Additionally, 4 out of 5 LGBT students experience harassment
at school.Students across the country participate in the Day of Silence to bring
attention to this problem, let students who experience such bullying know that
they are not alone and ask schools to take action to address the problem.

2) Hundreds of thousands of students of all beliefs, backgrounds and sexual
orientations participate in the Day of Silence.Anti-LGBT bullying and harassment
affects all students. Slurs such as “faggot” and “dyke” are commonplace in
school. The Day of Silence is an example of students, from middle school to
college, working together proactively to bring attention to the anti-LGBT
name-calling, bullying and harassment experienced by LGBT and straight students
alike. GLSEN, the Day of Silence’s organizational sponsor, encourages
participants to be counted by registering at from
nearly 5,000 middle and high schools registered for the 2007 Day of Silence.
GLSEN protects the privacy of students and does not publish a list of students
who have registered or their schools. Many students who participate also belong
to Gay-Straight Alliance student clubs, of which nearly 4,000 are registered
with GLSEN. The first GSA was created by a straight student nearly 20 years ago,
in the fall of 1988.

3) Day of Silence participants encourage schools to implement proven
solutions to address anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment.

Adopt and implement a comprehensive anti-bullying policy that enumerates categories such as race, gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation and gender expression/identity.
Provide staff trainings to enable school staff to identify and address anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment effectively and in a timely manner.
Support student efforts to address anti-LGBT bullying and harassment on campus, such as the formation of a Gay-Straight Alliance.
Institute age-appropriate, factually accurate and inclusive curricula to help students understand and respect difference within the school community and society as a whole.4) The day is a positive educational experience.The Day of Silence is an opportunity for students to work toward improving school climate for all students. GLSEN advises students interested in participating to discuss their intentions with their administration and teachers long before the event.The day is most successful when schools and students work together to show their commitment to ensuring safe schools for all students. Many schools allow students’ participation throughout the day. Some schools ask students to speak as they normally would during class and remain silent during breaks and at lunch. There is no single way to participate, and students are encouraged to take part in the way that is the most positive and uplifting for their school.
For the latest GLSEN findings about anti-LGBT bullying and harassment and the school experience go to:

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Lorrie's Ramblings

I took the day off yesterday. A day all to myself!!! I didn’t tell anybody I was taking off. The kids got up and went off to school. The H went off to work. I got up and showered and dressed as if I was going to work and after the bus left went back in the house and began MY DAY!!
It was wonderful. I didn’t do anything except for things for ME! Watched a movie, went shopping, went out for lunch, listened to my IPOD and enjoyed my alone time! We all need these days and should be sure to enjoy them from time to time!

I really enjoyed Clever Creative’s blog yesterday about sex with GG! Wow, how it made me really really miss Rebecca. Sex with Rebecca is (referring to one of my past blogs) SVFGDAmazing!!!!!!!!!! But what I think said the most on CCT’s blog were the blank lines…she is left speechless when with GG. I can never find the words to describe how wonderful I feel when with Rebecca. WOWWWWWWWWW!!!

So today I was back to work and my regular routine, at least it was a busy day at work and went by quickly. I did have the pleasure tonight of driving my daughter and 4 of her friends around. What an eye opening car ride, listening to 5 fifteen year olds talk about boys and going to the formal and what is going on between this boy and that girl. It was all I could do at one point not to hyperventilate, LOL. I did think about telling them to stick with their girlfriends, they will be much happier in the long run…but of course I didn’t. I have been lucky to this point as my daughter has been so busy with lacrosse and field hockey and her love for the Jonas Brothers that there isn’t much time left over for those “regular” boys! I’m thinking maybe I should keep a paper bag handy for the next car ride with the girls!

Really all I am doing these days is counting down the days until I am going to be with Rebecca again….17 days!!! I CAN’T WAIT!!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter!!!

May Your Day Be Filled With Love and Chocolate!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Rainy Daydreams

It's raining today in Reno, on days like this I can't help wishing that Lorrie was here and we could have the whole day to ourselves. In my daydream, we are all snuggled up under the covers, skin to skin.

When I close my eyes, I can really feel her next to me, I imagine we haven't gotten out of bed yet and it is 10:30 already. I can feel her warmth next to mine, her breath on my neck and her fingers lightly running through my hair... I love the way her breasts rise and fall against my cheek and I can feel her heartbeat, my own fingers gliding along her back.

When we are like this, all intertwined , happy and content, I don't know, nor do I care, where I end and she starts, we are one, completed and whole.
My heart bursts with love for her and tears form in my eyes. I have to look up at her just to make sure it isn't all a dream. She smiles at me, maybe thinking the same things I am.

When I look into her eyes and see her love there, I thank God for giving me such a wonderous gift. I really don't deserve her and am awed that she is in my life.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

New Comment Form Question......

Help! I am not sure it is working......I posted a comment to LLnL, but unless I am logged in I can't see it.
Is this true with any one else? If you can't then I will find out what is wrong and try to fix it or go back to the old way........
Thank you

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Could You Go Back In The Closet?

I some how managed to get into a conversation with a commenter on "The Lesbian Said What?"
The post was Losing Friends to Jesus. The comment by Kris (a non-lesbian), directed at Ceara, that attracted my attention included this: "You want your life style to be acceptable. It isn’t. It’s really simple the explanation. It’s we as people who make it difficult. I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. Ceara God loves you. He can not look on sin. When you purposely choose to live in sin and say it’s okay Christians cannot be around that."

OK, now you all know me well enough, maybe, to know that one could not be left to sit there.
We commented back and forth, but while thinking about what she was really, really saying, I realized something I hadn't before, I would rather die than go back into the closet. So I told her that:

Your last email(I meant comment) has made me think, if I had to go back, what would I do? And I am not just saying this, I have never been suicidal, nor am I, but this is my conviction, THIS IS MY PRAYER. If for what ever reason I was forced to go back into that lifestyle of being who I am NOT, I would rather fight to the death for my rights not to, or receive the death penalty than go back in the closet, because that is all it would be.
I am still waiting for her to continue the conversation, but I am not sure she will. I meant it.
How can we make these people understand that it is death to live that lie? Spiritual, emotional, psychological and even, damn it yes, even a physical death to live in the bondage of denying who we are.

OK, Ladies, what are your thoughts on this one?

Friday, April 3, 2009

Matthew Shepard Act To Go To House

Federal Legislation Providing Resources for Law Enforcement to Combat Hate Violence Introduced in House

More than 300 law enforcement, civil rights, civic and religious organizations support bill to combat hate crimes.

WASHINGTON – The Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) civil rights organization, hailed today the re-introduction of the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act, which would provide local police and sheriff’s departments with federal resources to combat hate violence. After more than a decade of lobbying on Capitol Hill and seven successful votes on the bill, this critical piece of legislation was introduced with bipartisan support by Representatives John Conyers (D-MI) and Mark Kirk (R-IL). HRC is joined by more than 300 law enforcement, civil rights, civic and religious organizations actively supporting its passage. The Senate is expected to introduce a bipartisan companion bill soon.

“Each year, thousands of Americans are violently attacked just because of who they are. These crimes not only harm individuals, they terrorize entire communities. After more than a decade of delay, it’s time to provide local police and sheriffs’ departments with the full resources of the Justice Department to address vicious hate crimes,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese.

Because there is no federal law mandating states and municipalities to report hate crimes, they are often underreported. However, the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s own statistics, based on voluntary reporting, show that since 1991 over 100,000 hate crime offenses have been reported to the FBI, with 7,624 reported in 2007, the FBI’s most recent reporting period. Violent crimes based on sexual orientation constituted 16.6 percent of all hate crimes in 2007, with 1,265 reported for the year. In addition, while not captured in the federal statistics, transgender Americans too often live in fear of violence.

A wide coalition of national organizations has called for the passage of the LLEHCPA legislation. Some of those organizations supporting this legislation include: the National Sheriffs Association; International Association of Chiefs of Police; 26 state Attorneys General; and the National District Attorneys Association.

In the 110th Congress, the LLEHCPA was introduced by Representative John Conyers (D-MI) and approved in the House by a bipartisan vote of 237-180. The Senate version, the Matthew Shepard Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act, was introduced by Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA) and offered as an amendment to the Department of Defense Authorization (DoD) bill. After a successful 60-39 vote to prevent a filibuster, the Matthew Shepard Act was adopted by voice vote and added to the DoD bill. Unfortunately, the hate crimes provision was not included in the final version of the DoD bill.

To take action to support the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act, please visit:

The Human Rights Campaign is America’s largest civil rights organization working to achieve lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality. By inspiring and engaging all Americans, HRC strives to end discrimination against LGBT citizens and realize a nation that achieves fundamental fairness and equality for all.

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