Saturday, October 11, 2008

Truth, finally

It is so wonderful to be loved as much as I love, that was something I used to believe I would never know……
Almost 4 years ago, I realized I needed to find out who I really was and why I never felt "normal" or "whole" as a human being or as a woman. I had been married for 16 years, had two children and had tried to do all the things that, as a child I was told, would make me happy. I found myself instead, profoundly unhappy.
It wasn't any one thing I could put my finger on, my marriage was not going well, true, but I knew that wasn't what was causing such deep despair. It was the feeling I had that somehow, I wasn't "right" at all. I am a spiritual person and the more I prayed the more the feelings of not being right increased. No, the feeling that increased was that I was living a lie.
It wasn't until I watched a movie called "When Night Is Falling" that I started to realize that what I thought was something to be denied in myself, was really who I was. I suddenly understood what lie I had been living most of my life. I was attracted to women. The feelings I had so long dismissed as aberrations were real. Once I admitted this to myself, I could for the first time, believe Psalm 139 "for you formed my inward parts: you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made"
Living THE LIE was wrong, how I was made, was not!

I knew I couldn't stay married to my husband any longer. He would not have allowed an open marriage, even if I only saw other women. I only told him I wanted a divorce, not the reason why He agreed and I filed a week later. Living in Nevada, the divorce decree came 6 days later, LOL. Several months later I came out to him and he was not surprised! He said he had suspected it for many years.
I didn't know it then, but I had just taken the truest step in my adult life.
Two months later I would meet the woman who I knew was my soul mate from the moment I laid eyes on her! We have now been seeing each other for two years, and everyday of those two years our love has only deepened, and loving each other is the easiest thing in the world....
She sent me this two months ago:

When you meet your soul mate, this person will have an instantaneous effect on you.
soul mate is someone who makes your knees go weak and takes your breath away.
With but a single glance they lessen your burden, and but a smile, touch your heart.
You will feel a sense of total connection with this person.
They will touch you so deeply on so many levels that you will want to share you innermost secrets. For the first time in your life someone will make you feel almost like a goddess.
Once you have met your
soul mate, for better or sometimes worse, your life will never be the same...
One of the things which makes this encounter so unique is the sense of a profound spiritual experience. You both feel like this is meant to be and that you've been together before in a past incarnation.
When you meet your
soul mate something happens — the deep yearning, the compelling energy drawing you to become physically intimate overwhelms many...
Nothing will have ever felt so right...There's a sense of safety with this person.
You knowingly let go of your defenses as a deep empathic bond is formed.
Unlike any other relationships you may have had, there will be no game playing or hidden agendas, only truth...
There is something about the passion you share with a
soul mate that goes so far beyond just the physical body. For a moment in time you two are the only ones who exist in the universe.
Hearts beating in rhythm as your souls have intertwined themselves becoming one.
Your spiritual energies meld and you feel the flame of creation move through you like a wave of the ocean on a hot summer's day.
Soon you begin to lose track of where you begin and your partner ends...
From within the depths of your exquisitely passionate union, your
soul mate will know exactly how and where to touch you. It will be different, more intense, and more gratifying than any lover from your past... And more electrifying than anything you have ever imagined...
They will look into your eyes and you will feel your
soul open wide. For some people, there is the "rush". All the love, all the lust, and all the need will surge forth from your soul like captives from a cage.
At this moment you will know what it means to get lost within someone's eyes.
You will experience a realization you have never felt before and your desire and passion will rise to new levels.
But in the end, as you lay there, as the warm afterglow begins to fade, you will realize what just happened was not merely sex. Sex pales in comparison to what you have just experienced. .. To put it simply, your soul mate will be able to make love to you in ways no one else will ever be able to match...


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