Friday, March 20, 2009

Random Oprah Article Thoughts.....straight girls going gay?

Lorrie sent me this link to an article in this months, "Why Women Are Leaving Men For Other Women." I have to admit, the article kinda pissed me off. Oh I know research is beginning to show that sexuality might be fluid, especially women's sexuality. And probably these studies show that a good percentage of women have a sexuality that is or can be fluid but not all women's. The studies have shown that men do not have the same level of fluidity in their sexuality. They pretty much seem to be straight or gay with a few that are bi-sexual.

Being a lesbian who was once married to a man, you probably are wondering why the article pissed me off. Well I did too, so I had to think about it a little. I think while a couple of the women said some things that led me to feel they always were lesbians but trying to be straight, the rest of these women were just having flings with lesbians. And I was also thinking about the stories lesbians tell of falling for straight women, and how much it hurt when they broke up and went back to men. The straight women were attracted to them for a bit, it was fun and exciting, they got something out of it that they wanted. And while it was going on they maybe even gave something of themselves. And then they went back to being straight. So, these were all amicable break-ups? No hearts were seriously broken? Were they all so sophisticated that everyone remains friends and the affair is only remembered fondly by everyone? Not according to the girls I have talked with who have gone through this. Just why do so many lesbians say, "never date a straight woman." Because real hearts get broken. Sometimes really bad.

The article says it is because "Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon left a boyfriend after a decade and a half and started dating a woman (and talked openly about it). Actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson flaunted their relationship from New York to Dubai. Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" topped the charts. The L Word, Work Out, and Top Chef are featuring gay women on TV, and there's even talk of a lesbian reality show in the works. Certainly nothing is new about women having sex with women, but we've arrived at a moment in the popular culture when it all suddenly seems almost fashionable—or at least, acceptable."

I think I got pissed for two reasons. One, I am kinda old fashioned if you want to know the truth. Part of my belief system is that you don't ever play with peoples emotions. You don't play games. (Yes, I know, just what was I doing to my ex for 16 or so years?) BUT YA DON'T HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE IT IS FASHIONABLE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I mean if you are sincere and it doesn't work out that is one thing, but to have a relationship because you have "needs" or are curious? The article states; "Many of them say, for example, they are attracted to the person, and not the gender—moved by traits like kindness, intelligence, and humor, which could apply to a man or a woman. Most of all, they long for an emotional connection. And if that comes by way of a female instead of a male, the thrill may override whatever heterosexual orientation they had." But that thrill is going to fade over time. Then what, are you back to going ewwwweeeee? And then "bed death" and then you break up because one of you is really hetero and not really all that turned on by another woman, and she really needs some penis now? Kinda like the movie Kissing Jessica Stein. It was an OK movie, but again, I had the same feelings about the straight girl going gay for a while, then when it wasn't so exciting anymore she left her, all she really had just wanted was a friend all along, she even says this as she breaks up with her. You know, you can get a great emotional connection from your girlfriends and it doesn't have to become sexual, and hearts don't get broken that way either.

And then the second reason maybe I got pissed is because sometimes I wonder if I just needed an emotional connection that only another woman can give me? Did the article hit a nerve in me that I would rather not be exposed?

Hummmmmmmmm, no, sorry, big time lesbo here, LOL. But I used to wonder that while coming out and even for a while afterward. And the article did bring up that question again momentarily. But I really go ewwwww now when I think of the times I did have sex with my ex, or any other man, and not because they were bad lovers either. And I don't even look at a man sexually anymore, I haven't for a long time. I first noticed that about a year and a half ago. I mean, I can see a good looking man, and think he's good looking, but I never think about him being kissable or beddable at all. Just writing that I went ewwwwww!

Really, the second reason and less important reason is because I feel it gives more stuff for the Anti Gay Industry to twist and say it is a choice and not the way we are created so our love isn't valid, therefore we should not be recognized as legitimately worthy of equal rights. I mean they are so predictable anymore, I know what they will say before they do! God, why are those groups so twisted?
Sphere: Related Content

Trevor Project

Digg Us