Saturday, March 14, 2009


So Very Fucking God Damn Rational!

Rebecca and I were chatting the other night on gmail like we do so many nights before we go to bed. We were chatting about the first time we spent 5 days together and she had to drop me off to go back home. She admitted she wanted to kidnap me, lol. I admitted I wanted her too! But then I said she would have had to fly to PA and kidnap my kids too, lol.

And that is when she replied that we didn’t because we are fucking rational…sooooo fucking rational…sooooooo very god damn fucking rational!!!

And we are! Otherwise, why would she still be in Nevada and me still in PA!!! It has been 2 ½ years and we are still doing the long distance relationship..the good ole LDR…or maybe now it should be referred to as the SVFGDR LDR!!!!

Do we enjoy being so rational? NO!

Is it easy to be so rational? NO!!

If we enjoyed it or it was easy..there would be no front of the R.

How many times a week do we remind ourselves that we need to be rational and why we need to be rational? Many, Many, MANY…some times more than once a day. Especially if we are having one of those days that our desires, needs and passion for one another is boiling in our blood and it feels like we are going to go crazy unless we can see each other, touch each other and just BE with each other!!

It’s funny, I sat down to write this post but before hand I was reading some other blogs. I ran across Clever Creative’s lucky post where she talks about missing her GF even if they are apart for a few hours. She wondered how we survive being separated by so many miles…now she is the SVFGDR personalities that we both have decided we absolutely must have for now. Because, YES…I miss Rebecca so much that I just ache for her everywhere…even after a few hours of being apart..and the ache does not lesson when the hours turn into days turn into weeks turn into months.

This is our decision…a so very fucking god damn rational Decision!!! We are doing this so that the life we are building together….for the rest of our lives.. is a better one filled with fewer regrets and the knowing that we did what we thought was right for our kids. The time is also giving Rebecca a chance to go back to school and get a degree for a job that she will enjoy. The time is also giving me time to get closer to ending my marriage on hopefully good terms with my H. The time has given my H time to come to terms with my love for Rebecca and the time has allowed him to move on and date others.

I just got interrupted by my daughter…she wanted to share her discussion with her friend with me and then demonstrate a dance they were doing together…we were both laughing. I am so glad she enjoys sharing her experiences with me….again, this is why Rebecca and I are SVFGDR!!!

So even though the distance really really sucks!!! There is a reason for the rationality and in our minds actually a necessity to the rationality!

But you know what? I really hope the next 1 ½ - 2 years..whatever it turns out to be…goes by so very fucking god damn fast because we are both really really tired of being SVFGDR!!!!
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