Wednesday, June 24, 2009

It Takes More Than 3000 Emails..........

Lorrie and I have talked about blogging about what it has taken to maintain a relationship for nearly 3 years while living 2,653 miles apart. (that's door to door by the way according to Google Maps) Wow, that is a long way away!! But there are so many times I can feel you right next to me!

We thought it might be fun to tell you how it started and what it has been like from both points of view.
Lorrie's text in blue
Rebecca's text in dark purple

The Beginning

Lorrie and I began communicating with each other after she sent me an email on Friend Finders. I signed up to meet lesbians in Reno without going to the one gay bar I knew of at the time, I hoped to
make friends and maybe find someone special, I didn't know at the time that I would meet my true love, my partner and my soulmate all at once.

Since Lorrie was from PA, not Reno, her email went to my filtered folder, I saw it there and was going to delete it. But I read it instead.
(I have thanked Rebecca many times for digging me out of her filtered folder!) Her feelings of being attracted to women all her life, that she was married, had never acted on it, could not deny the feelings any longer was eerily familiar. I didn't know how many of us were out there at that time, I knew about me, and had heard stories of women leaving their husbands to be who they really were before, but I didn't KNOW any one else. So I emailed her back. And she wrote more to me.

Yes, I know you are all thinking why was Lorrie emailing women in Reno. Well let me reemphasize the line above; I could not deny the feelings of being attracted to women and I needed to act on them! I don't think I am alone in the thought that I had; if I just acted on this desire and "got it out of my system" I could somehow find a way to be happily heterosexual again. Don't all laugh at once!! And after all, a business trip to Reno was the perfect opportunity. OK, we are both a little embarrassed how we met, can you tell? LOL. But not sorry at all....

Our first few emails told each other about ourselves. Our families, her husband, my ex, our kids, our jobs. She told me she would be flying to Reno on business in about 6 weeks. Lorrie wanted to know what it had been like for me with my first woman, when did I first have feelings for other women, you know, all the usual things two women talk about. I really liked her already from her emails, she was open and honest, friendly and warm, they were like a lot of her posts actually. I felt like we were right there talking, face to face. It was easy to say I would like to meet her when she came to town.

Rebecca's story of her first experience with a woman is a pretty good one, she will have to tell all of you sometime, lol! I think NOT, I don't even remember it anymore anyway....

We started talking on the phone shortly after that. Well, it was more Lorrie would talk and I would try to answer at first. I didn't used to be much of a phone talker. I seem to need to look at someone to really talk to them. But Lorrie was a trooper, constantly asking me questions to draw me out. Telling me things about her life and what she liked to do, so I could answer her in kind. It wasn't that hard really, right from the start, she could make me laugh. Just the way she looked at life and things, it was so much like my own sarcastic sense of humor. The humor got me talking back to her and finally she got me to the point where it is so easy for me to talk to her about anything, on the phone or in person.

Now, can any of you believe this?! Isn't it hard to believe that the woman that can go on and on in her blogs (not that that is a bad thing and it IS very educational)(educational = boring...) would only give me one or two word answers to my questions at first! So then I decided I would go to the interview technique of asking open ended questions; you know, like "so Rebecca, if we ever get to meet face to face, what would you like to me?" OK, so I didn't ask that question until at least the third phone call, lol! (Yeah, that question shocked me too, she seemed proper!)

I couldn't wait to meet her in the weeks before she was to arrive. When we started emailing I had just moved into my new tiny apartment, and I had only kitchenware in it. I had been trying to furnish the place but was also wanting to fill it with things that I would love so I was taking my time, I was sleeping on the floor, had no where to sit, my dresser was still cardboard boxes, I had the laptop hooked up and a get the idea.

Now, I had to move my furniture schedule up, and after all those phone calls, emails and questions, I figured the first piece of furniture I better get was a bed!

We really did hit it off on the phone. It was (eventually) very easy to talk to one another, about everything and anything. We had had similar experiences in our marriages and dealing with heterosexual sex; but we also had wonderful conversations about our kids, our jobs, our hobbies...just anything that came up. I could not wait to meet her in person and it had turned into so much more than just a possible hookup with a woman.

So yes, the phone calls were nice but let me tell you the emails took a turn for the hot, hot , HOT!!!!! I think if we dig out some of those old emails we could write a very juicy lesbian romance novel!!

Sooooooo THE DAY Lorrie was to arrive was upon us. I cleaned the apartment, went and bought some pink roses and got ready to meet her. I put the roses in water, took one out to give to her and left.

I was as nervous as could be, we had decided to meet in one of the bars in the hotel she was staying at later that evening after she landed. I got to the hotel early, and discovered the "bar" was really in the middle of the casino floor, LOL. OMG NO WAY!!! I called her up, and she asked if I could find another one that was more private, she was getting ready and would be down shortly. (I am not big on casinos so I didn't really know the place very well.) I hunted around and found one that was good sized and hardly anyone was there at all. I called her and let her know where I was, bought a drink, and sat down in a lovely oversized easy chair to wait. For about 20 minutes. Sweating. Will she show up? What if she changes her mind, chickens out? OMG what the hell am I DOING HERE???

The days before leaving for my business trip to Reno I could almost not contain myself. I felt like a little girl going to Disneyland for the first time! I kept having to remind myself that I was going there to go to a training class for some silly robotic system at work and not to finally meet this wonderful woman I had been talking to and getting closer and closer to for weeks now.

I tried to amuse myself on the plane ride out west; I even took my sons old Gameboy along. Nothing would take my thoughts off of meeting Rebecca, seeing her face to face, being in the same room with her!

After I made it to the hotel, I showered and started to get ready for our big "date". I was so nervous. I briefly, very briefly considered not going down to the bar. I remember looking in the mirror and saying to myself "Lorrie you really like this woman and already have a good relationship with her; just go downstairs and have a good time!"

Once I walked in the bar and saw Rebecca waiting for me in the big comfy chair with drink in hand and one waiting for me (yes, of course she knew what I liked to drink, we had talked about it) everything just fell into place. EVERYTHING JUST FELL INTO PLACE!!!

And then this tall, amazing blond walks in, and I know it is her, she's here, SHE SHOWED UP! I could feel the biggest smile ever form on my face when I saw her, and then my brain lost it.... OhIhopeshelikesmewhatifshedoesn'tstandupstandupshakeherhandnogiveherahugwhatshouldIdoohhelp!!!
We are leaving you hanging right be continued of course!

(You may read the continuing story of More Than 3000 emails - 2000 phone calls by clicking on Part I, Part II and Part III and Part IV)

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