Wednesday, June 17, 2009

What are the Odds?

Remember when you first realized you were gay. Remember thinking…. I am married….I have a family…… Why did it take me so long to figure this out?…. I must be the only person going through this.

Of course we all came to realize that we were not the only ones going through this. We found numerous message boards, blogs and support groups online where we found support from complete strangers that have grown to be friends.

Imagine finding out that somebody in your own immediate family is going through the same thing!

Whenever I would get together with my sister-in-law (I will refer to her as Gail), we would discuss generalities of what was going on in our lives but rarely discuss specifics. Finally one day we decided that we needed to go out for drinks and tell all! I told her that my story would blow hers out of the water. She laughed and said “No way, mine will beat yours hands down!”

I had a suspicion of what her story was as I always thought her husband (I will refer to him as Dan) was gay. So I figured we both had pretty much the same story but with a gay husband as opposed to a lesbian wife…

Well, I was right! We met for drinks and Gail announced that “I have a boyfriend and so does Dan!”.
I respond with “I have a girlfriend!” (At that time my H didn’t have a girlfriend.)

So, what are the odds that in the same family two couples could get married, have families and then have one spouse realize many years later that they are gay? (By the way, both Gail and Dan and H and I have been married for 19 years…we got married within 6 months of one another.) I would have to say the odds are not great…but it happened.

It has been wonderful confiding in Gail. Even though she is on the opposite side of the situation in her relationship (the straight spouse), she has been so supportive and we have had some great times going out and telling all! We have been able to be each others therapists and the only cost has been a lot of drinks and a lot of laughs…..along with a ton of understanding!!!
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