Thursday, June 25, 2009

It Takes More Than 3000 Emails........(continued)

(You may read the continuing story of More Than 3000 emails - 2000 phone calls by clicking on Part I, Part II and Part III and Part IV)

From the beginning of our correspondence, Lorrie had made it perfectly clear what her motivations were, she needed to find out what it was like to be with a woman, that she was married and wished to remain so, that once she got this out of her system, she would then be able to live the rest of her life happily heterosexual. And she emphatically stated that she was honest with her husband about everything. And she was. He did know pretty much from the start what was going on.

Yes, I wanted sex, sex and more sex!!!! LOL! I was just in the beginning of trying to figure "me" out. Even though I had known for years that I was attracted to women, I really thought that if I just had this experience I could get back to living the so called "normal life" that I had chosen so many years before. Little did I know that just by getting to know Rebecca on the phone and through many, many emails it had already turned into so much more than just sex! I only knew this woman from a distance and was already so attracted and connected to her!

And yes, I did tell my husband pretty much everything. I'm sure I left a lot of the details out, but he knew what was going on.

My motivations were a bit more fuzzy. After reading her first emails, I liked her a whole lot. I wanted to at least keep in touch with her because we shared so many of the same experiences. I liked talking to her on the phone too. I did accept that maybe we would just be friends for a while or even for the rest of our lives, but really we would just be friends in the end. When we started talking about the sexual side of things, I knew I hoped there was a possibility we were going to be intimate, I really found myself extremely (totally, completely and entirely) attracted to her, but it still was never really guaranteed.

I wouldn't say I thought it was a guarantee that we were going to be intimate, but I did think there was a very great possibility!! After all, we had talked about it and wrote about it in great detail...and there was definitely a big spark present!!

It certainly bothered me a lot that she was married and that she lived so far away. I told Lorrie that part of the relationship was entirely up to her, I would not make the first move in that direction. I never wanted her to feel pressured by me into sharing her first time. She let me know right from the beginning that if we did, it would be short term, maybe two nights out of the week she was to be here.

Me make the first move...yikes!!!!!! LOL! Sexually I don't think I had ever made the first move before, but maybe that was because the previous moves were being made towards men. I knew I wanted to make the first move! I knew I couldn't be intimate with Rebecca and then just walk away and never talk to her again. I figured we would maintain some sort of long distance friendship. Wow, what a long distance friendship and much much more it turned out to be!!

When she walked into the bar, immediately, the electricity between us was palpable. My brain did start to work finally and we started talking. The time in the bar is a blur in my mind, I remember being so nervous, I could barely look at her after she sat down, afraid she would see too much in my own face and scare her away. I know we made small talk about how great it was to finally meet each other and had another drink. All the wonderful things about her in her emails and phone calls were definitely there in person, making the crush I had on her already deepen. Finally, all I was really doing was hoping and waiting for her to ask to go back to my place.

So I asked her if she wanted another drink, praying that she would say no, let's go....

I don't remember much of the small talk either. I think we were pretty much the only ones in the bar at that time, it was early in the evening. I remember remarking that Monday night football was on already; back east it wouldn't be on until 8 or 9pm. (6pm Reno time) I know we talked in the bar for about 20 minutes or so and then when Rebecca ask me if I wanted another drink, I said.....

"No, I think I want to go to your place...." I caught my breath, at last, "OK, let's go"

There had been many smiles and smirks (smirks? I smirked? I thought they were very meaningful looks, damn, just smirks.......) and looks that made me think that maybe Rebecca was ready to go too! (Oh YEAH BABY!!) We made our way to the car and took off for her place. This I will never forget....we both put our elbows on the console in the middle...our elbows touched...OMG, the electricity I felt go through me was absolutely amazing!!! It wasn't at all like static electricity, it was as if lightning struck! And it struck hard!

My place was about 15 minutes from the Airport, (within the city of Reno everywhere is about 15 minutes from the airport, I kid you not.) I made it in 5. Once we were in the door, I got nervous again, I wasn't all that experienced in this sort of thing myself, so I asked her if she wanted some wine? No. I asked if she wanted tea? No. I went to pour myself a glass of wine, thinking that I really should kiss her, I want to kiss her very much, when I felt her hand on the crook of my arm, I turned, looked into her eyes, smiled, and then she kissed me....

Lightly at first, and I returned it in kind, then we kissed more intensely and that's the moment when the rest of the world dropped away, time stopped and there was only Lorrie and I, our passion and our need remaining...

(yup, leaving you hanging again...while we talk more about exactly what to say next)

To be continued again..........

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